10 Gifts Oprah could give Tom and Katie Cruise

According to the “Daily Dish” of SFGate.com, Oprah Winfrey was not invited to Tom Cruise’s wedding. She is quoted as saying that she will send them a wedding gift but as yet did not know what to send.

Such a gift hunt asks what are the needs of a scientology wedding couple? First off scientologywedding.org has a great website with latest scientology wedding press. A Yahoo! best answer provides the clue, “Joy!”

“Above all, however, Scientology weddings are joyous celebrations of the new union.”–yahoo!

10 Serious Gifts Oprah could give Tom and Kate Cruise in celebration of their new union:

(17th to 19th century blue-label buddha bowls with padded mallets)

  • 2. 10 Years of Home Visits from Martha Beck, “Joy Diet” author.
  • 3. 10 Years of Home Relationship Rescue Sessions with Phil McGraw
  • 4. 10 Years of weekly calls to Marianne Williamson
  • 5. 10 Years of Bob Green annual body makeovers
  • 6. 10 Years’ supply of Moon Shoes
  • 7. Year’s supply of Philosophy Ginger Bread Man (“O” list man) “he calls, but only to tell you he has to cancel, he remembers your birthday, but forgets your anniversary. he puts his dirty laundry in the hamper, but leaves the toilet seat up. there is no such thing as the perfect man, that is until now…..”
  • 8. Year’s Supply of “O” List product “Deception (“Its Cheating but it Works…”)

and finally, when all else fails to please, look to the adage something old, something borrowed and something blue….

  • 9. The Beaded Curtains Bubble used for Oprah’s 50th Birthday Party (was Tom invited?) (something old, …see next item).

[Loan of her personal chef, Art Smith] (something borrowed…see next item)
Perhaps this is asking too much? How about “Happy in the Kitchen” author, Michel Richard (“Don’t Knock the Potato“)

  • 10. Patti LaBelle on call to sing blues lullabies to Suri.

Both Patti LaBelle and Tom Cruise were invited to Oprah’s Legends Ball

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