You must be moving out of the city to leave rooms like this

My landlord was in my room for the second day in a row when I returned home. She had someone looking to be a sub-tenant. The first day the wanna live here person asked me how long I had lived in the apartment. I said since last September. She was white and seemed overjoyed. I guess that was an ok “white” survival rate because she took the room next to mine. I had that room for one month at $650 a month. That room was muck and I cleaned it up. Its still a disaster. But noone asked me. It has a linoleum floor that turns black everyday and there is no ventilation and you hear everyone coming in the door and in the kitchen rather loudly. Also if there is tv or radio played in the room I am now in it blasts out the room. Noone asked.

The second day another wannabe, a yuppy new age black. She proclaimed that she felt the vibes when she walked into the apartment that it was a good place to live. Well for once in a very very long time there is much happiness in the apartment. I am in the moving out into my new apartment with a 2-year lease stage. Roommate #1 found an apartment for July with her boyfriend. Roommate #2 gets to move into Roommate #1’s room (which is the best room in the whole apartment, off the street, direct internet box and cable, far away from the front door, cherry wood floors). Yes much happiness right now.

This second wannabe said you must be moving out of the city to leave rooms like this. I didn’t say anything. I told the landlord as they were leaving the building I won’t be leaving sunday, it might be monday and at this point I am not sure when. She said something negative like I knew you didn’t have anything. I said to the wannabe you know I have to tell you the room has its beautiful but the windows are warped open so you have exactly the street noise, the street dirt and in winter it is mostly 23 degrees in here. (I did not tell her about the scorpions and black flies). She said don’t those heaters work. I said when they do work the heat goes out the window. But this apartment is great. It has a long hallway and not every room is filled so there is privacy. The kitchen is great, there is internet there. The girl looked shocked don’t you have internet in your room? When it is available in the room it is “very low” and constantly going down. The landlord said that’s because something is wrong with your computer. I said then why would I get “very good” in the kitchen, “Excellent” in Roommate #1’s room and nothing here. Could a computer do that? Oh and outside of this apartment I always get “Excellent”. And why does Roommate #2 not get internet?

The landlord came back and was screaming at me saying you are 50 years old (hey thanks for making me four years younger) and you never got your s*** together. That’s why you have to live in a place like this. These people, people who are 27-29 years old, are just finding themselves. They don’t care about all that stuff. So you don’t need to tell them. I told her she should stop talking. She continued with that my roommates were always complaining to her about me and the outside of the building was complaining about me. I told her she was now way off topic. She went ranting out of the door, you’ll move out Monday, and give the keys back and I’ll give you the deposit. That girl didn’t care about what you said and took the apartment.

My landlord is crazy for sure. Because when I was 19 I had an apartment with a lease. By the time I was 21 I had a job as an officer of a major university. When I was 22 I was married and owned my own business. And I always did well until I fell into the hole of the drummer boy and landlord from hell. As for people I get along very well. Both my roommates call on the cellphone to talk to me. I let one of them come in my apartment while I am gone and use my laptop whenever she wants to. The other one even shares her friends with me. They both have smiles that light up this world when they see me. As far as the people out on the street I give a hello, and how are you. The trash talkers outside my windows have been slurring my color and my gender from the day I moved into the street front apartment. I’ve never had any dealings with them.

From this experience, I did give myself the reminder when dealing with landlords from hell don’t fall into the hole, don’t hold on.

Ah heck, I called her up a few hours later, my rental period goes through June 4, and since I’ve paid for it, that’s when I’ll be moving. [My TV show needs a totally clean studio anyway I was smiling to myself.] She said you will be out at the end of May though, right? I said I don’t know but I’ll do my best.

An hour later the landlord calls me. She leaves a huffy message saying she needs my room at 10am for the home depot guy to come look at the windows to be fixed. She also says she’ll need the apartment for when they fix it too. and of course, the requisite, “Have a Nice Day!”

I told her as she looked at the windows as if for the very first time, two months ago, you can just call home depot and they’ll fix it. Two weeks ago I said you would save a heck of alot of money on heat if you just fix these windows. Even Jennifer, the tenant before who stayed only one month, had the warped windows, a huge space heater and friends and family she could spend the night over when it got too bad.

Yeah, I’m a failure. Boy I’m glad I’m a failure because I’m moving into my own apartment little by little this weekend. Its beautiful, every single thing about it. We have landscaping in front. Fragrant beautiful flowers in a mountain setting and in the City, Wow! I love failure.


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