congestion, gridlock, congestion…gridlock

bubblegumcellphone c2007

Artful Dodger THE HOWL AT THE MOON SHORT, Shorts for Men

Wouldn’t you know congestion is a hedge fund term for when shorts are unable to cover themselves –except at higher prices, go figure.

Artful Dodger THE SAVAGE SHORT, Shorts for Men

Gridlock is when you move the blocks around to freeup your main block so its gets out of a jam. Aha — that so sounds like the problem in Manhattan.

Imagine that, Gridlock is an Addicting Game. Did I say Go Figure already?

Main question, who took the traffic cops away?

In 1994 under Mayor Guiliani, New York City got the crime management tool. That allowed NYPD to see where crimes would occur so they could focus appropriately in those troublespots. Apparently, in BloomingNation, the computer has its preferences i.e. for Bushwick and not Washington Heights. Bushwick as opposed to 39th street and 1st avenue. and so on and so on.

Hey, wait a minute I’ve lived in Manhattan etc. for over 30 years and I got attacked by a knifed man for the one and only time on the way to a day job outside my loft in Bushwick (ok real estate thugs try to call it East Williamsburg). That was under Mayor Bloomberg’s police. Uh there were no police around. Only people standing with their mouths opened while it went down. Never fear I took care of it, Bruce Lee is in my closet, kpow! Yep, that guy picked the wrong person.

BB Dakota The Easter Shortalls, Shorts for Women

There are about 33,000 police in New York City but I don’t ever see them. Don’t you think that’s pretty strange. Every once in a while we take a peak at Forensic Fashion as they chase down terror on the subway and when there has been a disaster. I hear them though. Three weeks on Madison Avenue all day long sirens. uh, I had to fire them. My teammates told me it goes on all the time. 3am in the morning 135th and Washington Heights. They finally crack down on the racket, or at least try to, its a jungle. Yep, megaphones and flying bullets and the baby cries. ooh its 11:50 and the baby cries as we speak. They are out there.
bubblegumcellphone c2007

Which brings me to gridlock. Why are we even talking about shorts whatever when we’ve got gridlock. Put more gridlock in your compstat so your policemen will show up where it counts. Soon you’ll see buses can get to where they are suppose to and pedestrians can cross the street. Please note this is what green means in ecospeak, its not really a color.

It took me 10 freakin minutes to catch any bus that was not “not in service.” Then another 10 minutes for that bus to cross the gridlock and another 20 minutes to get anywhere near a destination that was 17 blocks and two avenues over. oops four of those streets had pedestrians with carts not obeying the traffic lights. Law and Disorder, now that’s a catchy tv show title.

I didn’t walk it because of the heavy smokers and ….the gridlock. The pedestrians weren’t crossing 39th and 3rd avenue either…and who should be the gridlockers = black stretch limos and the city taxi fleet..the very people who will escape the ‘congestion’ pricing. Go figure…